The loneliest place can be inside a group,
not outside it.
At the table. In the feed.
Among people you know, almost know, or only know through what they show.
Everyone appears to carry their difficulty lightly.
Or at least, legibly.
What makes it through has already been shaped:
the lesson,
the perspective,
the calm voice on the other side of it.
You have the version before that.
The hard thing before it has a shape.
Before it can be explained without leaking.
Before it knows what it means.
So you make a choice.
You share the version that’s ready.
Or you stay quiet.
Or you perform a kind of lightness you trust will be true later.
And in the room, in the feed,
everyone does the same.
The performance is mutual.
No one coordinates it.
Everyone maintains it for everyone else.
And everyone takes everyone else’s performance as proof.
Proof that they’re managing.
Proof that they’ve figured something out.
Proof that the messy, unframed version you’re carrying is… specific to you.
This is the loneliness:
Each person is certain they are the exception.
Everyone else seems to be handling it.
Everyone else seems to have already crossed.
Meanwhile, your interior,
the 2 a.m. version,
the unedited account,
the part that doesn’t translate yet,
feels like a private anomaly.
Not a phase.
Not a process.
A flaw.
So the illusion holds.
Quietly.
Perfectly.
For everyone.
Until the conversation that comes late,
after the third drink,
or in the parking lot,
or in the one moment someone forgets to perform.
And someone says the actual thing.
Not the shaped version.
Not the lesson.
The middle of it.
And there’s always that small shock.
Not that they’re struggling.
That part you knew.
The shock is this:
You were never the exception.
I don't know how you do it. Every day you give fresh thoughtful reflections for us to ponder. You never run out of wisdom grounded in insights. They are thoughtful, never rushed, clearly chosen words. Thank you for sharing them.
Ahh, the lovely and messy parts of being human. Being human … Is being a human being which is human with awareness. And what is part of that awareness.
There are valuable paths available to each of us. Some you travel on windy trails unable to see around the corner because the forest is so thick, on a rocky sea rolling up and down, or through a thick fog that blankets the road. Where am I? Which way do I decide to go? Up or down? Straight? Left or Right? Sit and Rest? Check Apple Maps? Google? Ask Ai? Call a friend? 1000’s of decisions. Who am I right now? My thoughts? My experiences? My soul? My awareness? What is changing? What is constant? Who am I? Does it Matter? Why so many Questions?
Was it Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said - Are we spiritual beings having a human experience or a human being having a spiritual experience?
From Wikipedia…
French geologist, paleontologist, philosopher, and Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin introduced The Omega Point and The Phenomenon of Man.
The Omega Point - Drawing upon his devout Christianity, the author argues for a morally idealistic understanding of human nature through which social advancement under the watchful eye of God will eventually lead to a total reconciliation of all things and a final state of absolute collective consciousness, which Chardin titled the "Omega Point". Thus, history's final state will take place such that all of the creatures of the universe exist together with Jesus Christ as the "Logos" or sacred "Word".
The Phenomenon of Man was written in the 1930’s but not published until after his death in 1955. In this work, Teilhard describes evolution as a process that leads to increasing complexity, culminating in the unification of consciousness.
Yes, the human condition is both messy and lovely. Embrace your humanity and try to understand it. We all make mistakes. Each and everyone of us. Tons of them! No one is perfect. Combined this concept of the human condition with being self-compassionate, that is, 1. Be mindful and 2. Be kind to yourself and others.